I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
