Your dad touched me again.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
