having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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