Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
