I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
