It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is wine microwaveable?
my shit smells like andre
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
