is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
