Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
