..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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