I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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