Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
