Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
