I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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