You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
do herpes really smell.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
