It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
