you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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