MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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