FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
