and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
