It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
