No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
