At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As shirtless as possible
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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