I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
