Ambien. No doubt about it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
