How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
