life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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