You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
