I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
