Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
