Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we're making bets on your personal life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
