i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
