I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
