You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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