Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
