I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
