Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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