And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
