Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
