I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
