I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
