I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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