Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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