I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
