hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
