Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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