Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
