You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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