I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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