you would pick up someone in the library
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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