just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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