im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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